Reed Henri, on the Brink of Thirteen

~ Stacy

One night a year, when the rest of our family is camping with the Scouts, my middle son Reed and I have a date night. Last night, we ate an early dinner at Spiro’s, walked around Strawberry Lake, did our evening chores, then snuggled on the couch watching “The Greatest Showman.” I love this time with my boy, and want to remember it forever. 

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Reed, I hope you know how truly happy it makes me to be your mom. We are so alike, you and I, from our need to take things slow to the way we observe every detail of the world around us. We are mellow and quiet, but when we hit the fun button, we can be pretty dang goofy. We love art, creativity, a story that pulls at our heartstrings. We can be really selfish and really generous. Clutter drives us mad. Music makes us feel. We love having our backs scratched and our heads tickled. When we sing, we do it with our whole hearts.

I love to hear you sing beside me at church. Sometimes when I look over at you and lock eyes during a beautiful chorus and we are both singing right from our souls, I feel like we are in another world. This kind of connection is what people like us were made for. 

You are almost thirteen, and your voice is starting to change. I know you are going to be an incredible young man, but I have to say I will miss the voice of your childhood — pure and clear and sweet. I’m sure your adult voice will be wonderful too, but I think I’ll record us singing our song, “You are My Sunshine,” together so I can always have the way you sound at twelve years old.

When we sat at the restaurant last night and made our summer fun bucket list, your eyes lit up the most when you said “Night swim in the river!” I am in, Buddy. I’ll bring the glow sticks and a pile of fluffy towels. I hope there will be stars. 

I want the world for you, Reed Henri. I want you to feel and see and taste it all, then draw it or sing about it or write about it in a way no one else can. I know you will.

Thanks for loving me. Thanks for holding my hand as we walked around the lake even when we passed by the cool older boys. Thanks for making me laugh when you thoughtfully asked if pickles are finger food because you wanted to use your manners at a nice restaurant. Thanks for describing your chocolate mousse as ice cream and pudding having a baby, and thanks for offering me a bite. It really was delicious. 

I love our time together. I love who you are and how we just get each other. How lucky I am to be called “Mom” by one of my best friends. 

You’re still curled up beneath your blankets this morning, but soon I’ll wake you and we’ll go out together for farm chores. We have a few more hours with just the two of us before our theatre party. It’s the most beautiful spring morning here. The sun is highlighting the young maple leaves and everything everywhere is green. The river is high. The birdsong is full and clear. Let’s take it in together. 

10 thoughts on “Reed Henri, on the Brink of Thirteen”

  2. Dear Stacy,

    What a beautiful description of your relationship with Reed Henri! He sounds like such a wonderful young man already. Becoming a teenager can be challenging for any young person, but having this very special relationship with his mom (and probably a very special relationship with his dad and brothers, too), will sustain him through the joys and challenges that come with growing up. As always, I so enjoyed reading your post!

    Your description reminds me of my relationship with my son when he was about this age. He never really had a “snarky period” as he grew up, and we were best buddies. We lived in the country on a lake. We had moved there as he turned eleven. He was still trying to make friends in a new middle school. I have always enjoyed walking and he would often ride his bike beside me and in circles around me talking about whatever was on him mind. If my husband and I decided to take a ride and maybe get a coffee, he always wanted to go with us. Some of our best conversations happened during those rides. I loved to ride in my paddle boat during the warm summer days. My son would ride with me; jump in for a swim; and get back in the boat to help paddle. I enjoyed those relaxed times to just share our ideas on the world with each other.

    Of course time passes and he is a grown man now with a wife of 25 years, a daughter in college, and another daughter graduating from high school next year. As I watch their family move along in time, I see that he has similar relationships with both his daughters and a very loving relationship with his sweet wife. I treasure those times I had with him before the teenage years began. The cycle of life continues, as it should. By this point in time even my granddaughters are all nearly adults. I have learned to treasure the memories I had and have with my two children, their spouses, and all of my four granddaughters. Taking time with our young people is never wasted or regretted.

    Thanks again for sharing your life through writing. Suzanne

    N. Suzanne Standerford, Ph.D. Distinguished Professor Emeritus Northern Michigan University School of Education nstander@nmu.edu (906) 249-4216

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    1. Thank you for reading and for sharing your own sweet memories with your son. It is so nice to see the comfortable and respectful connection passed down through the generations — I hope that will be true for my grandkids someday too!

      Thank you for supporting me all these years, Suzanne. It means the world to me!

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  3. Reed is a wonderful, creative young man! I love the attention he gives to his singing, and watching him grow is a joy! You are a terrific Mom raising three awesome kids! ❤️

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    1. You made me cry. My boys and I are so lucky to have you as our musical inspiration and encouragement. Thanks for loving our whole ragamuffin crew and cheering us on as we learn and grow 🎶

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  4. Being a “boy mom” is a gift. Recognizing what makes our boys unique & special is too. Good job, Mama! So many times you write what is in our hearts but what we find difficult to describe the way you do. Another stellar writing, Stace. You are a great mom & a great writer! ❤️

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