March is a huge month for birthdays in our family – there are nine among our extended family. When Miles turned three a couple weeks ago, we dusted off the courage-for-immunizations talk.

Last Friday my six-year-old stood before the calendar and exclaimed, “Mom! It’s your birthday!” Suddenly his expression turned somber. “I’m sorry to say it’s your turn to be brave for shots.”

We’re trying not to let the dread of shots put a damper on our month, or the outlandish election year coverage around every media corner. I have to say, this promise from my friend Daniele’s daughter sounds a bit like some of the mumbo jumbo I’ve been hearing on the news lately…

Save the cuchrerees!

Abby, you might just have my vote come November.

No, seriously.

Enjoy the rest of these quotes submitted by the parents of some truly hilarious kiddos.

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When Gavin (nine years old) was allowed to go to the park by himself, his mom offered frequent reminders about safety. One day, before heading out, he said, “Mom, I know I can’t accept candy from strangers, but what if they offer us a delicious casserole? Can I take that?”

-submitted by Niki

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Elea (three years old) requested music during a car ride. As her mom scanned the stations, she heard an upbeat country song.

“Stop! I love this song!” she said, and began grooving in the back seat.

“Honey,” said Elea’s mom, “please stop kicking my seat.”

“I can’t stop!” Elea replied. “I’m singing with my feet!”

-submitted by Elizabeth

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On Thursday mornings, if Nathan (six years) and Elijah (four years) get up early, their mom will stop for donuts on the way to school. Seizing a teachable moment, Nathan’s mom asked him, “If you have seven chocolate donut holes, and you buy seven vanilla donut holes, what do you have?”

Elijah piped up, “A sick stomach!”

-submitted by Chris

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When Toby (nine years old) asked his mom what would hold her love if it came pouring out, she replied, “An ocean!”

“Heh,” Toby said, “Well I would need a PLANET. All the planets, actually!”

– submitted by Kristen

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Luke (seven years old), was trying to peek at the television from the time-out step. When his mom reminded him that there’s no TV-watching on time-out and asked him to face the other way, he turned toward his shadow on the wall and asked, “What do you think I am, a groundhog?”

– submitted by Daniele

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A friend of mine shared this conversation overheard at home:

“Do you think that girl on the magazine is pretty?”

“Yeah, she looks nice. She’s in her underwear (giggle). Her underwear are cute.”

“What about you? Do you think she’s pretty?”

“I dunno. Yeah, she looks cute in her underwear. But what does she DO?”

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Miles (three years old) greeted his mom as she walked through the door with a frozen latte.

He studied the container for a few seconds and asked, “Mom, why does your coffee have a helmet on?”

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When Brianna (thirteen) noticed her friend Kennedy’s awesome artistic ability, she exclaimed, “Wow! You’re like set for LIFE!”

-submitted by Kristen

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Let’s finish it off with a note from Luke. (This kid kills me!)

– submitted by Daniele

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Thanks to all who submitted quotes to this issue of Darndest Things. If you have a kid quote (or parent quote) for the next one, email it to revisionsofgrandeur@outlook.com or message it to Revisions of Grandeur on Facebook.

Keep laughing, friends!

Stacy

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